Category: Introspective


I wrote many words, meaningless to many, held dear by few.  But it is within those few that live the thirst for that certain answer that their mind had been hinging on. To be able to supply that answer, like delivering a small sample of divine epiphany is worth more than a mere message that reaches many but fails to absorb indefinitely into the soul.  The abstract and jagged to many are the clear and serrated piece that may complete one of the pondered puzzles to which we struggle with in our lives.  The mind may hide, erase or bluntly forget but the soul always remembers.

To struggle with in the mind is to live on and to progress although it aches as any other growing pain.  A bit of missing knowledge handed forth is the equivalent to mother’s warm hands rubbing those growth pains out of your childhood legs.  So teachers, teach and writers, write.  This is a step that follows the ground where one sits idle moving only to the masters whip within the mind that orders action, recognition, for if refused the possible loss of self leaves that person in regret of their self defiance.  Doubt sets in though at this step, worrying of the relevance each sentence has to others, forgetting why you picked up the pen in the first place.

So the third step awaits as you realize this and continue to write at your whim, at your pace and with out the oppression of fear. Where does it all take you from there is the final question which may not be answered for a time after death as far as your earthbound name is concerned. Yet, there is an unlimited wisdom one finds for them selves when they become literary fencers.  This wisdom may overflow to others, but even if it does not someone has learned.

Sand and the Soul

An old soul in time,

the one of which is mine,

Feel as if I have seen it all, before

A twist of gut that I know more.

An elderly shadow, and secret scars

triggers of peace, and twinges of war

I think I have seen it all before.

Feeling a heartfelt weight

that I do not withhold,

lost libraries of faded pages

filled with stories left untold.

Mysteries of the soul, may be ones mold.

When things are less alien

than they should consciously be

Pondering what could become,

Are you what you thought you would be?

The sand of the earth

be the only thing a soul may ever really know.

Just because you think you are,

does it actually make it so?

Strangers

I know how it is to be judged by those whom I am not familiar

The skin of my soul leaves the story untold and too many it bewilders

To fierce it frights as unknown nights where they see not the burning timbers

Yet I see through all baiting eyes true no matter the maskarade of demeanors.

I am that hooded man in the wooded sitting idle by the fire.

It isn’t quite clear that it’s safe to come near, for I might make you a liar.

If this is your doubt then don’t give a shout, of foolish fear I quickly tire.

Best to walk on, for I rather you gone and all those who shun the mirror.

The Thing About the Phoenix Is

The thing about the phoenix is,

It’s never quick to raise his wings, but knows when to fly.

The thing about the phoenix is,

It knows the contrasts of the earth and sky.

The thing about the Phoenix is,

It likes to watch, and through you with his flaming eyes.

The thing about the phoenix is,

It can sense the future, for he is a product of the past.

The thing about the phoenix is,

It burns the ties that bind, though shuns the inevitable goodbyes.

The thing about the phoenix is,

It may consist only of passionate flame that flares or fizzles, but it shall never truly be burned.

The thing about the phoenix is,

It’s responsive to your actions, and questions your lies.

The thing about the phoenix is,

If you can hear his scream you are one who has learned.

Infinity and Oblivion

Here is the druid, for you he does not care.

Merely observes and questions life, seeking balance in all affairs.

Here is your hero saving all to save himself,

Giving him reason to exist, your joy becomes his wealth.

Here is the rebel, who sees too much and can do too little

His frustration ever mounts, the more complex his riddle.

Here is the angel, who cannot help to cry

His heart absorbs the scars, for all unfortunate, for all gone awry.

Here I am, infinite sense of depth

I know of darkness I know of death.

Dreary, drugged, deranged and disconnected, I have felt, can feel them all.

It’s a spark in your soul that sprouts, when the thunder strikes and rain falls

From your heart, flushed to your fists

Becoming a trigger tightly set, only destroying the one who pulls it.

A seemingly ancient force, only bows its head in piety,

Not to death or birth, but to the omnipresence of infinity.

Laughter

It’s a good thing to be able to question laughter

- without having to look into the there after,

To live through a week without wishing it was a dream,

for you have a feeling you know the main theme

Where one can see the scene to seek the means and can exist without picking teams

That’s when they know they caught what they’ve been after

- and now enjoy free hearted laughter.

Recluse

To bath in the sun, then into the tub, for hours on end,

The life of a recluse I often pretend

Burden myself with weight not seen,

ponder my life away, in nightmares and in dreams

Beyond the search for meaning and resolution,

I live for peace and still contemplation.

Stray notes of a melody I collect from time to time,

scattered symphonies left faded

and unfinished with in the mind.

Times In My Life

There have been times in my life,

Where I have been souly half hearted

Times in my life where I’ve certainly faltered.

There have been times in my life,

Where I have endured sleepless nights.

Times in my life where I’ve fought fruitless fights.

There have been times in my life,

Where my mind has shattered.

Times in my life with my pride beaten and battered.

There has been times in my life,

Where I preached against many a wrong.

Times in my life I’ve sung the rebels song.

At this time in my life,

I look back in satisfaction.

At this time in my life,

I’m content with my action.

At this time in my life,

I see the sand that has collected.

At this time in my life,

I’m in the place I would have selected.

At this time in my life,

I’ve managed to follow the wayward plan,

Having endured the road that makes one a man.

Wanting

Sometime I don’t know what I’m feeling

find my heart simply reeling,

into frustration. Hate to care Hate to care.

It’s nice being free, to not understand, not to care

There is an emptiness in the air.

Wanting, willing not to wait

Wanting, despising fate

One who thoughts drift through needs into wants

unfortunate, blinded and the days only taunt.

Lost

So eager focused to jump into the machine, new gears and circuits freshly weaned

Wishing to meld into the corporate scene, say goodbye child now pick your team.

Yet I’ve lost my place in society, for my mind they seem not want me

Hair, blonde, brown, red, black. Left long or cut above the neck.

Striped, bleached Bunched and braided, some like the girls I’ve often dated.

Yet I’ve lost my place in society, for my mind they seem not to want me.

Everyone is a slave to the impressions they make, so they mold themselves for fucks sake.

Some chase things not wanting them to be caught,

others build lives not on what they made but what they’ve bought

Yet I’ve lost my place in society, for my mind they seem not to want me.

When one thing is everything then, everything crumbles leaving only sin.

The question of more or less, an answer to the puzzle of bliss.

Yet I’ve lost my place in society, for my mind they seem not to want me.

Gods not the only one listening for vultures are at call to despair.

But those vultures are Satan’s poultry, so in faith there is fair.

But what is faith if its justifying, an excuse for the frightening?

Not many can afford the questioning when the noose of time keeps tightening.

Yet I’ve lost my place in society, for my mind they seem not to want me.

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